" I wish I had the opportunity to be arrogant or think that I am perfect, but I am humbled on a daily basis; I never get the chance. I have fallen UP the stairs twice this week!"
....words I spoke to a friend a while back as a response to their preconceived opinion of me...and believe me, this is SO true.
I bring this up due to a recent humbling experience I had. It is known that I work in ministry, and due to this it has been assumed that I am perfect, a theologian, grew up a Christian and that I have the ability to answer any religious question and can qoute anything from the bible....Oh, how untrue this is.
I was hanging out with two friends the other night and, as is typical, the conversation turned to philosphy, religion and other things too thought provoking for eleven o' clock on a Sunday night. Nonetheless, we began to speak of our faith and give our knowledge and opinions on the subject...I, someone who did not go to bible college, did not become a Christian until my pre-teen years and have strayed away from my "walk", was having this conversation with a bible- college attendee and a person who grew up a conseravative baptist....(gulp).
Soon they began to speak of relious philosophy and doctrine, many things I had never heard of before and had no idea about. I was greatly intrigued and thirsty to hear more, but in hybrid so very aware of my lack of knowledge in these areas, areas that are relevant to the field in which I WORK! I had that, "What the crap am I doing?!" thought, for sure. (curious about Prince, boxing or proper vocabulary/punctuation and I am your girl)
So ya, I felt in over my head.
Have you ever had this feeling, a feeling of being so out of your league that if you were to reveal your true identity people would point, laugh and call you a fraud?
I am all to familiar.
(Diclaimer: No one has ever made me feel this way, or treated me as beneath them due to my historical reality. No, this would be a feeling from the unrighteous enemy, the one out for my demise.)
I say all of this as a way of being relational and real. I know that, on paper, I am not the best person for the jobI do. I know that I often feel like a new Christian, and that I do not have the experiences of anything close to a conservative baptist, bible scholar who is on the praise and worship team. (Dislcaimer: this is not a bad thing if you are, I am just not. Trust me, your ears are thanking you and I think these are some of the most brilliant people I know.)
The learning curve is SO against me...
Or, is it?
For some reason God has chosen me to do what I do and He knows that I am capable. For some reason people believe in me despite my resume, and given that, I refuse to let the swell of the waves of inadequecy to take me under.
I have to remember that I was CHOSEN at this time and in His divine plan for my life, to minister and speak of my truth in faith and life to other people; He has asked me to talk about His life (double-gulp).
I am not perfect or the most knowledgable, but I have the heart for Him and His word, as well as the desire for knowledge. Thus I know that I am right where I am suppossed to be no matter how incapable I may feel at times.
So, If you are someone feeling like you have bitten of more than you can chew, then you probaly did, and keep chewing...All I can think is, He gave us molars for a reason:)
....words I spoke to a friend a while back as a response to their preconceived opinion of me...and believe me, this is SO true.
I bring this up due to a recent humbling experience I had. It is known that I work in ministry, and due to this it has been assumed that I am perfect, a theologian, grew up a Christian and that I have the ability to answer any religious question and can qoute anything from the bible....Oh, how untrue this is.
I was hanging out with two friends the other night and, as is typical, the conversation turned to philosphy, religion and other things too thought provoking for eleven o' clock on a Sunday night. Nonetheless, we began to speak of our faith and give our knowledge and opinions on the subject...I, someone who did not go to bible college, did not become a Christian until my pre-teen years and have strayed away from my "walk", was having this conversation with a bible- college attendee and a person who grew up a conseravative baptist....(gulp).
Soon they began to speak of relious philosophy and doctrine, many things I had never heard of before and had no idea about. I was greatly intrigued and thirsty to hear more, but in hybrid so very aware of my lack of knowledge in these areas, areas that are relevant to the field in which I WORK! I had that, "What the crap am I doing?!" thought, for sure. (curious about Prince, boxing or proper vocabulary/punctuation and I am your girl)
So ya, I felt in over my head.
Have you ever had this feeling, a feeling of being so out of your league that if you were to reveal your true identity people would point, laugh and call you a fraud?
I am all to familiar.
(Diclaimer: No one has ever made me feel this way, or treated me as beneath them due to my historical reality. No, this would be a feeling from the unrighteous enemy, the one out for my demise.)
I say all of this as a way of being relational and real. I know that, on paper, I am not the best person for the jobI do. I know that I often feel like a new Christian, and that I do not have the experiences of anything close to a conservative baptist, bible scholar who is on the praise and worship team. (Dislcaimer: this is not a bad thing if you are, I am just not. Trust me, your ears are thanking you and I think these are some of the most brilliant people I know.)
The learning curve is SO against me...
Or, is it?
For some reason God has chosen me to do what I do and He knows that I am capable. For some reason people believe in me despite my resume, and given that, I refuse to let the swell of the waves of inadequecy to take me under.
I have to remember that I was CHOSEN at this time and in His divine plan for my life, to minister and speak of my truth in faith and life to other people; He has asked me to talk about His life (double-gulp).
I am not perfect or the most knowledgable, but I have the heart for Him and His word, as well as the desire for knowledge. Thus I know that I am right where I am suppossed to be no matter how incapable I may feel at times.
So, If you are someone feeling like you have bitten of more than you can chew, then you probaly did, and keep chewing...All I can think is, He gave us molars for a reason:)
