I hear the voice, my beautiful enigma.
He is calling out to me, as his melody echoes in my heart.
He wants to show me something beautifully unfamiliar.
I cling to desperate hope.
Drawing closer with the innocence of the un-jaded,
I see the light that casts upon his face.
A light that masks what most fail to invision;
A glow of transparency that brings forth a humble heart .
Beyond it, a soul longing for release from earth's grip.
Before it, a soul broken by its release.
Our whisper of contact is something that will cause pain with the fall...
For His blessing has just escaped with the thorn in my flesh.
~To everything that is my Songbird...this is my cry...Please hear my voice.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Without Walls Lies a Burning Light
I am sitting here, alone in a room, wondering what it all means. I keep finding myself at this cross-road of discovery and teaching...
I can't shake this feeling that God is relentlessly trying to show me something specific. No matter where I run (yes,I have tried), He keeps the picture right in front of my face, only I can't figure out the image. It is like one of those pictures therapists show you, ya know, " what does this look like to you." It has no right or wrong answer, but I feel like this picture does. It is an unwaivering riddle of imagery that will not give up.
All around me I feel the walls dissolving and the light that is revealed is blindingly bright. My eyes scream and cry out for relief; a little nighttime shade. They are the highway to my heart, and with that comes great responsibility. One that has an innate and instinctual sense of protection, and they are failing. What is being revealed all around me I want to escape. No person or place has taken away the anxiety, and I know they can't. Only my Father can, but shamefully I must say that I don't know where to begin to surrender when it comes to the current state of my heart. I have never dealt with this struggle of release before, so I find much guilt in that fact that yes, I am afraid.
Even as I write this, I feel the nakedness of my spirit being called upon. The fear I am experiencing , I suppose, is more the reason to bathe myself in His light of rescue... for all mine has accomplished is that of burned flesh.
"Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
-Dylan Thomas
~So much love, J
I can't shake this feeling that God is relentlessly trying to show me something specific. No matter where I run (yes,I have tried), He keeps the picture right in front of my face, only I can't figure out the image. It is like one of those pictures therapists show you, ya know, " what does this look like to you." It has no right or wrong answer, but I feel like this picture does. It is an unwaivering riddle of imagery that will not give up.
All around me I feel the walls dissolving and the light that is revealed is blindingly bright. My eyes scream and cry out for relief; a little nighttime shade. They are the highway to my heart, and with that comes great responsibility. One that has an innate and instinctual sense of protection, and they are failing. What is being revealed all around me I want to escape. No person or place has taken away the anxiety, and I know they can't. Only my Father can, but shamefully I must say that I don't know where to begin to surrender when it comes to the current state of my heart. I have never dealt with this struggle of release before, so I find much guilt in that fact that yes, I am afraid.
Even as I write this, I feel the nakedness of my spirit being called upon. The fear I am experiencing , I suppose, is more the reason to bathe myself in His light of rescue... for all mine has accomplished is that of burned flesh.
"Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
-Dylan Thomas
~So much love, J
For You...l'oiseau chanteur
You are the other half of me, relentless in your quest for destruction
I am not sure why this has to be done, and yet I still cling to an unwaivering faith
One that believes in the power of change
One that hopes for movement away from this feeling
A feeling that leaves me helpless, lost, and overwhelmingly alone
You are my light and my future; my greatest cause of pain
I have felt the fear you can cause, the abuse you give birth to, the damage you delight in
I am your muse of mockery, I am what you love to hate, I reflect all that suffocates your happiness
The disdain that drips from your every word is the only true love I know
I stand here now, trying to let go of my greatest addiction...one that will live on to plague my spirit and soul
So stay far away me, for I remain imprisoned by my past and toxic to my future.
~I have had many questions about this, so I will now give explaination...This is my way of moving forward and dissolving a part of my life's puzzle. It is apart of my quest for forgiveness and healing. It stems from my desire to move forward carrying a lighter load. It concludes as a way of holding myself accountable for my future and joy, free from blame and excuse.
... this is For You...
After much thought I have gained perspective and recognize when things need to end. That some things are for a season. That true love and pursuit of it are known by both parties and felt in the soul of each player. I now see clearly when to accept the verdict of the present time, and to not be disillusioned by the wordiness of the wordsmith. If something is true there will be no doubt, as I do not believe God tells two people two different things. Personal Forgiveness of the foolishness you feel is the only anesthetic needed to resurrect your spirit.
Listen to the lyrics of the songbird... it is performing the only melody you need to know, and that truth will send you flying into peaceful rhythm.
~Love and Prayers
I am not sure why this has to be done, and yet I still cling to an unwaivering faith
One that believes in the power of change
One that hopes for movement away from this feeling
A feeling that leaves me helpless, lost, and overwhelmingly alone
You are my light and my future; my greatest cause of pain
I have felt the fear you can cause, the abuse you give birth to, the damage you delight in
I am your muse of mockery, I am what you love to hate, I reflect all that suffocates your happiness
The disdain that drips from your every word is the only true love I know
I stand here now, trying to let go of my greatest addiction...one that will live on to plague my spirit and soul
So stay far away me, for I remain imprisoned by my past and toxic to my future.
~I have had many questions about this, so I will now give explaination...This is my way of moving forward and dissolving a part of my life's puzzle. It is apart of my quest for forgiveness and healing. It stems from my desire to move forward carrying a lighter load. It concludes as a way of holding myself accountable for my future and joy, free from blame and excuse.
... this is For You...
After much thought I have gained perspective and recognize when things need to end. That some things are for a season. That true love and pursuit of it are known by both parties and felt in the soul of each player. I now see clearly when to accept the verdict of the present time, and to not be disillusioned by the wordiness of the wordsmith. If something is true there will be no doubt, as I do not believe God tells two people two different things. Personal Forgiveness of the foolishness you feel is the only anesthetic needed to resurrect your spirit.
Listen to the lyrics of the songbird... it is performing the only melody you need to know, and that truth will send you flying into peaceful rhythm.
~Love and Prayers
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