Changes in Life and Love

First off, I recognize this is a little long, but with no school or work this week I have had much time to think...something I do best... and often to my own detriment :)
These past few months have been quite interesting for me. There have been so many changes that have gone on in my life in such a short period of time. I have changed many of the people in my life, changed jobs, changed majors, moved out on my own for the first time, and my parents moved out of the state. Not necesarily the hardest things in the world, but when they come at you all at once you do feel slightly at a loss for stability.
I started this journey of change excited, then grew to feel scared to death, and am now beginning to see the silver lining. I have been spending alot of time actively seeking strength and guidance from my Heavenly Father, searching in the most determined fashion. Thus, I am currently discovering a sense of peace that I have not had, not only since this erosion of change, but in years.
My typical mantra has always been to lean on everything and everyone around me. To search for any distraction that I could in order to find the missing puzzle piece in my life. In doing this I did find what I thought I was looking for, however, never permanantly. Such is the reason for my growing happiness, to recognize and find the greatest loyalty and listening ear in my God.
I feel that this is exactly where He wants me to be... on this journey, growing into a woman who seeks Him first before anyone or anything else.
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Speaking of being a woman...why do we do some of the crazy things we do? I find myself asking that question all the time....Why do we cry at everything on Oprah? Why do we have an innate desire for sweets after a rough day? Why do we have an almost crippling sense of empathy for anything hurting, small, or cute? Why do we love in the most vulnerable and raw way? ( that last one really trips me up!) I have pondered this often and still have trouble coming up with a finite anwer. These are some of the things that make us complicated and simple, fragile and strong...beautiful in every sense of the word.
With this said, I do feel it necesary to touch on this idea of love, since I have been known to be too available for a broken heart. Often, too in need of the pursuit that I have taken the work out of being pursued. I have confused being self- assured with being aggressive...this is certainly a fine line.
I am not saying that as women we need to be weak, passive, or any form of a shrinking violet. Nor should we settle for anything less than what we deserve. What I am saying is that we need to allow God to mold us into the woman He planned for us to be. As well as let our hearts be pursued by love, and not allow ourselves to grow antsy without that feeling of control.
We say we hope for someone passionate, someone strong, someone to be the spiritual leader... so relax and allow it to be presented... I will try to do the same...
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I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends. I know for some out there the Holidays can be a rough time, full of sadness and memories of loss. I wish you a heart full of peace and joy absent of any feeling of loneliness... Many prayers and much love:)